originally written 12.1.20
It’s very difficult to explain to people who have never hit rock bottom what rock bottom actually feels like. It’s a literal emptying of your entire body, soul, mind, spirit, heart, brain, blood and tissue matter to the point that you become a shell of a human, like a waxy chocolate easter bunny with sugar eyeballs that crunch. You are hollow from top to bottom, front to back. No love, no hate, no happy, no sad. No sunrise bliss or sunset breath, no beach dreams or mountain hopes. Very little conscious thought, surviving and subsisting on genetically pre-coded synaptic connections, no processing of your own. Rock bottom is not a place, it’s an energy. And only the person who has lingered there and considered making it home is capable of making the choice in direction of where they will go once the flicker of life re-enters their energetic field.