On Control

What is control, anyway? This urge, this compulsion to hold on to the good and keep away the bad, to the best of our human ability, (is what we perceive only good to us? Can our good be someone else’s bad, and vice versa?), this unwillingness to sit, vulnerable and open, in the flow of what is and accept, acknowledge, allow, release? What if in trying to control we block the flow of something even better than what it is we are trying to control, but we first have to endure what we perceive as something bad? Does our control then become simply settling? We humans are forever in a state of seeking pleasure and success in things outside of us, and as such, we are living in the external world of burnout, putting out our energy into the world to control the outcomes and things we gain, and not in the energy of opening and allowing, of receiving and flowing: a human doing rather than a human being. Even something as simple as the way we hold a pen or pencil when we write, and when we grip it with a tightness that makes our fingers ache–if we pause for a moment and release that grip, that control, we can write more and write for a longer period of time–but only when we invite and release the need for the outcome and instead seek to embrace the state of what is.

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