On Anniversaries and Dreams

Tonight’s journaling started by exploring the question of how my parents have been married for 52 years today (and not killed each other yet, lol), and how ashamed I am that the only thing I seem to attract in relationships are a string of men who know how to expertly ghost.

It was a humorous exploration, not heavy, as I’ve realized people who ghost others have a lot of healing to do and are not only hiding from others, they’re hiding from themselves. I do dream of a relationship with someone who has plenty of flaws but isn’t afraid to face them (Iike me), and knows themselves and their own strengths (also like me), but thinks it would be much more fun to explore those things together.

It also got me thinking about my other dreams of the future and how, as kids, we were told to have dreams, but more often than not, if our dreams weren’t what the adults around us saw as “acceptable”, we were either talked out of them, told we were silly, or, worst of all, made to change to fit someone else’s belief of what dreams we should have.

Excuse me, but change my dreams? Change what my heart wants? Yep. So we swallow our dreams and go with what others think, then wake up one morning not knowing who TF we are anymore.

Let’s stop that BS now. Listen to your heart. Let it dream. Let it feel. It isn’t always easy, but if you’re not living with your heart first, are you even living at all? Or just existing?

What dreams pull you out of bed in the morning?

Dream more of those. 

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