For the last 2-3 weeks, I’ve been in a pretty magical flow. Wake up, write, walk, meditate, journal, work on a passion project I haven’t told anyone about. I’ve managed to break my days with an appointment here and there, a few yoga classes, lots of decluttering chores, even dinner with old girlfriends, and gotten back into the flow without much effort.
I realize that all good things must come to an end, or at least go on hiatus, but darn, it’s such a hard place to be. I spent time with my parents Monday and Tuesday for their 53rd anniversary and met an old friend for a drink on my way home, then promptly settled into the routine of …absolutely nothing. An early doctor appointment Wednesday, and nothing since. I signed up for a few new yoga classes but canceled. I have plenty of ideas for my passion project just sitting. Piles of junk and bags of clothes sit by my front door waiting to be dropped off at the local charity shop…yet nothing. I Morning-Paged about it this morning and will again tonight after finishing this in the hopes of restarting something, or catching a spark on my way back to myself.
Note that this isn’t a depressive episode. I felt good enough to make myself dinner, take several naps, go for a lengthy walk at my favorite park at sunrise, talk to my son and daughter-in-law, and catch up with you here. Having been diagnosed with clinical depression several years ago, I know that darkness, and this isn’t it. Still, it’s a struggle when I have things I know I need to be doing, should be doing, yet simply lack the get-up-and-go.
Unsurprisingly, it feels good to tell you about it. I need to remember that when I don’t feel like doing anything, my fingers almost always feel like typing. I suppose that’s a start, isn’t it?
What about you? What advice do you have to motivate others for those times when we don’t feel like doing anything? I’d love to hear in the comments.