So much to do, say, tell you about, over these last 48 hours, but to be honest, I am too emotionally drained to form much of a narrative with all the important details. I didn't want to let the day go by, however, without stating that I am absolutely finished teaching.
And when that final dismissal bell rings
two roads diverge at The Wood1
and I
take the one less traveled by...
So wild to think back to my first few years and how I craved having my own classroom, after two years spent subbing, and two years spent teaching in a janitor's closet. Yes, I had a janitor's closet for my first two years teaching high school, with 10-12 high school kids trying to fit in a room the size of a household bathroom because...
I've been immersed in the experience of being a student on Zoom instead of the teacher, and learning that it is possible for beautiful things to happen there despite the digital divide. With the right teacher and the right energy, my assumptions about online learning have dissolved. Makes me wonder what other assumptions need further investigation against the truth of the matter.
DId the Wise Men actually consider looking at Mary and Joseph's Babies-R-Us wish list?
What I do know is that as each day passes, I feel lighter and more human. That's enough for me right now. It's been decades since I've felt this human. I kinda like it.
New friends exist everywhere you look.
I may have started teaching in 1995, but I have never known what it feels like to not have August be my New Year's Eve and the first week of June having a holiday-like vibe. I've had bits of dreams of what it would be like to enjoy a gorgeous, chilly autumn morning outside of the cinder block school walls, or...
Make some space and take some time for yourself to sink in and relax. Oh, and if you do listen, I'd love to know what you experienced.
A sharpened sword cuts almost painlessly, after all.
Put your energy into the things that make your heart sing despite the circumstances swirling around you.
It seems such a conundrum. If we can unconditionally accept all the parts of ourselves (including the flawed ones, or ones we see as less), which is our reality, we can begin to accept the wholeness (including perceived flaws) of others. The external standards we have come to levy against others as a form of qualification of their existence will start to dissolve...
Today I'm pondering the actual definition of practice. Yes, I can Google. Yes, I can find some stock definition, but I like to deconstruct words not only morphologically, but also energetically. I want to know what energy goes into a word just as much as the roots, prefixes, and suffixes.
Why is patience one of the hardest human states to cultivate? Why is it so easy to disrupt?
As you can see, I'm not yet back in the flow of a daily post, but I'll keep working on it. There's something to the habitual practice of writing even a short blog post each day that has an alchemical reaction to making me more aware of the moment-to-moment spaces in life, so it's a place I like to be. In the meantime, this week has been interesting...
Words by Beth 